Just Because you can
by Raving-Lunatic
Summary: A broken heart needs more than time to heal. RaeRobStar triangle with slight CyRaeBB at the end. Oneshot songfic


Raven shut the door behind her with an urgent snap, clutching her chest to keep her heart from beating through her flesh. She felt the world sinking away beneath her, a great empty chasm opening up to fill her vision with its darkness. Her control was slowly dying away and she just couldn't bring herself to care.

Her lip was bleeding when she brought her fingers to it, and she realized she had tried so hard not to cry that she had bitten right through. She stared at the muddy smudge on her fingertips with a dazed fascination, trying to find some universal illusion to make it all poetic and tragic. But all her mind could think of was his face and the expression on it.

It was the first time in weeks that she had seen him…peaceful

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** I'm begging of you, please don't take my man**

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

Please don't take him just because you can 

She pulled away from the door, the only thing keeping her standing, and stumbled to the window. Raven had never experienced extreme emotions, she had never loved, never cried, she had never truly felt anything at all. Yes, she had emotions, and they waited beneath her apathy like diamonds in the earth. But her life had been nothing but rigorous teaching to keep these gems from being found and exploited by her father. She had never been able to understand any feeling but hatred: hatred for the creature that sired her, hatred for the flesh that held her captive.

In that way, the Titans had been a lesson to her. She had learned that friendship was not a curse on her soul but a welcome relief from her isolation. She learned how to care, how to cry. She learned how to love.

The cold weather outside froze the glass as she pressed her hands to the window, desperately wishing to mirror the world in its icy beauty. She needed to forget emotion now; she needed apathy more fervently than a man without water. She felt weak and exposed beneath the wounds of grief, the first cuts into the pale flesh of her heart. Her forehead was burning with sweat and anger, and she rested it wearily against the icy window.

If only she could forget what she had seen. She had known it all along, known it from the first time they had met. But she had felt that perhaps she might escape it through sheer denial. How could she even comprehend what love was, let alone express it? Her rational mind argued against her weeping heart, cursing her for caring. This was for the best, it always had been. The other girl was much more suited to his tastes.

** Your beauty is beyond compare**

** With flaming locks of auburn hair**

** With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green**

** Your smile is like a breath of spring**

** Your voice is soft like summer rain**

** And I cannot compete with you, Jolene**

Her voice echoed against the glass, a wretched sob that tore its way through her throat and past her bleeding lips like a demon from hell. Her breath became a haze of fog on the window, and with the tears in her eyes it blurred the world beyond recognition.

She felt trapped inside her dark cage of a room, with the snow raining down around her home. This was the only place she had ever found peace and acceptance, despite the great risk of her presence. Here, in this dimension, she had friends who could be called her family. She would do anything for them, even when they turned on her and broke her heart.

For the first time, Raven was torn between two loves.

** He talks about you in his sleep**

** And there's nothing I can do to keep**

** From crying when he calls your name, Jolene**

** But I can easily understand**

** How you could easily take my man**

** But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene**

Starfire, her beautiful loving friend was like a sister. But the half-demoness burned with hatred and jealousy, at the thought of her caring smile and warm, alien eyes. At that moment, she did not know how she would respond to the Tamaranean if she were to see her. Would she forgive her with broken eyes and wish them well? Would she tear the heart from her chest and hand it to him on a silver platter, and wish them well?

Why her? Starfire was childish, frivolous, immature and careless. She was caring and sweet and enduring, but scrawny in all the wrong places. She was clueless and too forgiving. How could she possibly tame his wild, fearless heart? How could he settle for such commonality?

She wished she had the strength to think happily for the both of them, and hated herself for her own jealous rage. She wished she could find the will to steady her breath and meditate the pain away, but her heart was unwilling to let go of the pain. She needed to be alive at that moment and her last connection to the living world was the grief that cut between her and her friends.

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** I'm begging of you, please don't take my man**

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** Please don't take him just because you can**

She was out of her room and running down the halls before she even realized that she had made the choice. She had no idea how long she'd been within her chambers, sobbing as the sun set across the city in a glorious fog of blood. But when she entered the living room, Cyborg was cooking dinner while Starfire cleaned and the others watched TV.

The pan that Starfire had been cleaning came up from underneath its sudsy bath and hit her square in the face. The alien backed away, crying out in pain as the pan swung again and again, missing more than it hit. Cyborg finally caught the stray cooking appliance and held it down, calling out for the help of the other two boys. It didn't matter; by then, Raven had let go of her control of it, and turned her attention to other means of attack.

Beast Boy was the first to notice the silverware, flying from its draws with vengeance. He pulled down Robin and Starfire with him while the cutlery flew over their heads and fell to the floor. The looked up from their places on the floor, Starfire huddled, terrified, under Robin's cape. They finally noticed Raven's presence.

"Raven!" Starfire left Robin to embrace her friend, oblivious to the rage that trickled from her like slowly melting ice. "What has happened to upset you so?"

"Yeah, Raven what's up?"

They didn't seem to realize that the dishes had been an attack. They were so willing to accept that she was merely distressed enough to lose control.

"I hate you."

** You could have your choice of men**

** But I could never love again**

** He's the only one for me, Jolene**

** I had to have this talk with you**

** My happiness depends on you**

** And whatever you decide to do, Jolene**

"What?" Starfire backed away uncertainly, suddenly realizing the strange tone of her friend's behavior. Raven lifted her head slowly, her eyes visible beneath the cowl of her cloak. Her emotions were a wild gale of chaos, leading her through self-pity, jealousy, rage and despair like a terrible carnival ride. It was all her father would ever need, and she had yet to realize if he had taken the chance or not.

"I hate you."

Starfire went flying across the room, landing on the couch in a heap. The boys were instantly at attention, Robin running to Starfire to make sure she was all right. Raven's pain voiced itself by leaping in between the alien and the Boy Wonder, a snarling, shifting bird that snapped at his face until he retreated. She had all of their attention, and she realized suddenly how far gone she was.

"Raven! What is going on?"

His voice was so frantic, so afraid. Did he fear for her or was he afraid of her? She raised her hands, the lights in the room trembling in anticipation for the shadow that would overwhelm everything.

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** I'm begging of you, please don't take my man**

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** Please don't take him just because you can**

She saw his parents fall before his eyes, she saw his surrogate father swear him into the family business. She froze where she stood, and met his gaze. They stared at one another, and she was lost to the world in his disappointment and fear.

The red left her gaze as she cried, washing away the taint that had seeped into the room. She sobbed with a wretchedness that disgusted her, wracking her body with sorrow as she sank to her knees. She felt an utter fool beneath their confusion, unable to explain away the performance she had just made.

The hand on her shoulder was not his. The hand gently stroking her hair was not his. She looked up into the kind eyes of Cyborg, and the warm, open smile of Beast Boy. Robin was gone, tending to the needs of Starfire. She watched him with tearful eyes, her heart breaking all over again. By then, it was obvious to them what had broken her control.

"I'm sorry Raven. You keep getting your heart broken."

She turned her frozen eyes to Beast Boy and tried vainly not to cry. Together, her friends helped her to her feet and brought her to her room. They did not leave her. They did not scold her.

The three of them sat on her bed and told stories. She laid her head on Cyborg's shoulder and cried while Beast Boy curled on her lap as any animal she wished. When she fell asleep, he stayed, a tiny kitten that felt like a cloud and mewed when the tears left her eyes. Raven realized all over again the strength of friendship.

She realized that she was not alone.

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** I'm begging of you, please don't take my man**

** Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene**

** Please don't take him even though you can**

** Jolene, Jolene**

**A/N: **I don't know, just a random thing. I heard this song by Mindy Smith and it reminded me of the Star/Robin pairing and how that situation would be for Raven. I don't know how much I like this, if at all. Anyways, the thing that stopped her was her experience inside Robin's mind and knowing exactly what his life had been like up until then. She realized that she couldn't deny him the right to be happy with whom ever he chose. And also at the end, yes that was all BB/Rae or Cyborg/Rae, whichever you like best.

I don't own the teens or the song.


End file.
